By: Alyssa Hammond
Many women struggle with getting over their ex. This person went from someone who was a major part of your life, to someone who has little-to-no involvement in it. Part of my job as a relationship and money coach is to give people information on living a genuine, balanced life- which is damn near impossible to do if you can’t stop checking your ex’s instagram every hour. Here are 5 of the best tips for getting over him, without blowing through your bank account with shopping sprees and new hairstyles.
Write a Pro’s and Con’s list- It's important to acknowledge the pro’s because there was a reason you were together, and it's perfectly healthy to acknowledge that there were good aspects in your relationship. The con’s list needs to be exhaustive, list every single thing you dislike about him. His lack of ambition, friends, taste in music, even his eye color is fair game. Whenever you have a moment of weakness and are considering contacting him, refer back to the list, and if every con on that list hasn’t been remediated, remind yourself that those issues are always going to be a problem for you. This tip is really easy to implement, and putting it down on paper will make you stronger.
Dump the music you listened to together- Pick a band that you won’t listen to anymore. Did you and your ex share a special moment at a concert? Did you have a song you loved to listen to in the car? We all have songs that come on the radio and instantly reminds us of our ex. My solution? I rush to change the song as if my life depended on it. I delete the band from my playlists, and move on.
Unfollow them on social media- It’s impossible to moving on if you’re constantly seeing everything he’s been up to, especially if he starts dating someone new and is posting about it. Go through all your social media platforms, delete every picture you have together, and untag yourself in everything they tagged you in. And then don’t check their profile. I mean it!
Feel your feelings- Let it all out. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, for as long as you need to feel it. If you need to cry for a week straight, and eat a gallon of ice cream, do it. There is no shame in being upset that your relationship has ended. It’s better to let it out now than to have an emotional breakdown 3 years from now because you never processed your feelings. Get it out of your system. I’m all in favor of keeping yourself busy post-breakup, and making plans with your friends, but eventually you’ll need to process emotions, and it needs to be sooner rather than later.
Find a successful couple you’d like to emulate- Find a couple you’d like to be like, and ask yourself what your last relationship was lacking. Maybe this other couple has the same taste in Netflix, maybe they both like dogs when you and your ex has different feelings about pets. Those pieces that your relationship was lacking, those can be the pieces that you look forward to in your new relationship. These aspects are very important, and instead of being jealous of those other happy couples, you can look forward to those things in your next relationship.
Pick any one of them, and get started. Stay strong!